Hello my friends. During medical school and residency, I learned how to hurry. While raising my family and working full-time, I perfected my hurry skills. The pulsing timer in my chest ticked louder and louder, reminding me I was late to pick up the kids, get home for dinner, send out the birthday party invitations, complete my medical charts, sign up for the conference, or figure out halloween costumes for my daughters. I learned to precisely strategize my schedule to avoid wasting “my” precious time. This required multi-tasking, frequently being late, skipping friendly chats at work that might slow me down, and always watching the clock. Waiting in line was torture. My mind was focused on all I still had to do.
These days I have far fewer obligations, but I still hurry. This behavior, a chronic and habitual rushing and uncomfortable sense of time urgency, was first called called “hurry sickness” in a 1974 book by two cardiologists. Hurrying all the time is stressful, not healthy, and detrimental to relationships. Do you hurry and fret about time and your to-do list?
Healthline describes hurry sickness and suggests remedies, such as planning regular walks, or setting healthy boundaries to reduce overcommitment. I’m eager to share with you my experience and the two things that helped me to see and start healing my unhealthy relationship with time.
First, i married a man who never hurries. He walks slowly. He eats slowly. He does one thing at a time (methodically). He prays endlessly. He relaxes by watching the birds and squirrels or listening to music—just sitting. Yet somehow he gets his work done and is usually on time for events. Observing him helped me to become more aware of my own hurry habits. You can’t have my husband, but maybe you know someone who is like him. Watch and learn.
The second is a prayer practice, specifically the Christian meditative prayer called Centering Prayer, which I began ten years ago. This is a receptive, quiet, contemplative-type of prayer practiced over the centuries by holy men and women like St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, Thomas Merton, and Thomas Keating. I felt called to begin Centering Prayer to draw closer to God, and, hopefully, to become more open to his will. In the beginning, my hurry sickness made sitting quietly in a chair very difficult because I felt like I was wasting my time. But I deeply knew this type of prayer was for me. Here’s what I wrote in Pilgrimage: A Doctor’s Healing Journey (p. 221):
“It was as though God…had leaned close to me,…whispering in my ear: ‘Donna, your mind is way too busy thinking, planning, and wandering— and, I’ve noticed you are obsessed with controlling every minute of your day. Come rest with me.’ I am so grateful that I listened.”
Over the last few years I’ve noticed that the uncomfortable ticking in my chest occurs less often and I am more relaxed about my schedule, waiting on the phone, or standing in a long line at the store. Though a meditative practice like Centering Prayer is first and foremost a sacred prayer, it provides a secondary benefit—it can modify our minds so we are more open, soft, and patient. This was my experience, and there is science to back me up.
We cannot change a deeply ingrained, habitual behavior like hurry sickness by merely deciding to do so. Reflection and a decision are necessary, but not sufficient. We also must make a plan and take action with small intentional steps. Sacrificing time for a regular meditative prayer practice is one such step. God has greatly blessed me and my Centering Prayer practice—and I wish the same for you.
SUGGESTIONS:
1. My favorite daily devotional, Jesus Calling (p. 355), includes these words of Jesus: “Take time to listen to my voice. Through your sacrifice of precious time, I bless you far more than you dare to ask?” This is my experience. I strongly recommend this much-loved book.
2. Being a poor listener is a symptom of hurry sickness. Do you interrupt others? Do you compose your response in your head while your partner is speaking?
One cannot hurry up the listening process.
Think and pray about this. For years I didn’t realize what a poor listener I was. I’ve made progress and am convinced my prayer life is a big reason why.
3. It is fine to start small with Centering Prayer. Follow the guidelines and try it for five minutes for a day or two. That’s what I did. It took several years of practice and retirement before I could enjoy the suggested 20-minute long sessions, usually twice a day.
Wishing you a holy and joyful Christmas and may God bless you,
Love,
Donna
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dr. Donna Chacko promotes health of body, mind, and spirit through her website (serenityandhealth.com), her blog, her podcast/vlog series Pop-Up Conversations on Health of Mind, Body, and Spirit, and programs at her church. She is the author of Pilgrimage: A Doctor’s Healing Journey (Luminare Press, 2021), a recent best-seller on Amazon, 2022 Illumination Awards Gold Medal Winner, 2022 Reader Views Literary Award Gold Medal Winner, and 2022 Catholic Media Association First Place Awards.
It is not crazy to sit in silence doing nothing. Wise and holy men and women have always done it.